A practical checklist to help new parents choose guardians, create a will, and put the right protections in place for their child.
The moment you have a child, everything changes. There’s now someone whose entire world depends on you; how they’re cared for, where they live, and the kind of life they grow into.
At some point, you start thinking about it: If something happened to me, what would happen to my child?
Not just in theory, but in real terms.
Who would raise them?
Who would make decisions for them?
Would things actually play out the way you’d want, or would strangers end up deciding?
Here’s the part most parents don’t realize: only about 32% of U.S. adults have a will. That means most families are leaving these decisions up to the court system instead of making them themselves.
This guide walks you through exactly what to put in place, step by step, so your child is protected in the ways that matter most.
Having a child changes how you think. You’re not just planning for yourself anymore; you’re making decisions that directly affect your child’s future.
Estate planning is simply making sure that if anything happens, your child is still cared for the way you would want.
It comes down to three things:
Who steps in to raise your child? This isn’t just about choosing a family member, it’s about deciding who will shape your child’s day-to-day life, their routines, their values, and the environment they grow up in. If you don’t make that choice, the court will, based on what it can determine, not what you may have quietly hoped for.
Any money or support you leave behind for your child needs to be managed properly. Without clear direction, access to those funds can be delayed or handled in ways that don’t align with how you would have used it for your child’s needs.
There’s a difference between hoping things will work out and knowing you’ve put a plan in place. When these decisions are already made, you’re not leaving your child’s future open to interpretation, you’ve made it clear.
There are a few key documents every parent needs, because they’re the ones that decide who steps in and how your child is cared for if you’re not there.
This is where you decide who raises your child.
Without it, that decision moves to the court. People may step forward, but the final call won’t be yours.
A will puts that responsibility in your hands, where it belongs.
This is the decision parents sit with the longest.
You’re choosing the person who would take over your role; day to day, long term. The one your child would rely on for structure, support, and direction.
You’ll need:
Plans can change. Having a second option matters.
This choice isn’t about who is closest. It’s about who would raise your child in a way you respect.
If you’re unable to make medical decisions, someone else will have to.
A healthcare directive:
Without it, decisions can be delayed or made without knowing what you would have wanted.
If you can’t manage your finances, access to your accounts doesn’t automatically transfer.
Without this document, your family may need court approval just to:
That process can take time. During that time, things don’t move.
A financial power of attorney allows someone you trust to step in immediately.
This is where many parents get it wrong.
Naming a child directly can create problems. A minor cannot legally receive funds, which means the court may assign someone to manage that money.
Instead:
Also review:
These designations override your will. If they’re not set up properly, your plan won’t work the way you intended.
This is where you start putting things in place.
You don’t need to sit down and solve everything at once. Start with one item, then the next. Each step answers a real question: who steps in, who handles what, and what happens next.
Use this as your working checklist:
You can stop and come back to it. What matters is getting the first few decisions down; once those are in place, everything else starts to fall into place too.
This is one of the few decisions you won’t want to rush.
Start by picturing your child in someone else’s care; not for a weekend, but long-term. Who comes to mind first?
Now go a step further.
Would they raise your child in a way that feels right to you?
Not just day-to-day, but in the small things, how they handle discipline, how they show up emotionally, what they prioritize as your child grows.
Would your child feel comfortable with them?
Someone they can go to, rely on, and feel at home with, not just someone who can take on the responsibility.
What does their current life look like?
Where they live, how they spend their time, the kind of environment they provide, all of that becomes your child’s new normal.
Have you actually spoken to them about it?
This isn’t a decision to assume. It’s one to discuss openly, so there are no surprises later.
Can they realistically take this on?
They don’t need to have everything figured out, but they should be in a position where adding your child to their life is possible.
And then ask yourself one more thing:
If your first choice couldn’t step in, who else would you trust to raiseyour child?
That is why it is important to choose both a primary guardian and a backup guardian. Life changes, circumstances shift, and even the most thoughtful plans may need another option.
At the end of it all, you are not trying to find someone perfect. You are choosing someone you trust to show up for your child with care, guidance, and consistency when it matters most.
A lot of estate planning mistakes don’t come from bad decisions, they come from no decisions.
There’s always a reason to delay. But the earlier you set things up, the simpler it is.
In many cases, it does,but not always in the way you expect, especially with children involved.
This leaves a gap in your plan.
It may feel uncomfortable, but clarity matters more than assumptions.
Life changes. Your plan should too.
This is where things can become complicated.
If there’s no will:
It’s a bit like leaving instructions blank and expecting everything to still go smoothly.
Sometimes it does. But you’re relying on a system that doesn’t know your intentions.
You don’t need to have everything figured out before you begin.
Start with:
You can refine things over time.
Most parents assume this process is long or complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. With the right tools, you can put together a basic plan in minutes and update it as your life evolves.
If you want a simple way to get this done, FeedingBird helps you create your will or trust in about 15–20 minutes, with guidance along the way so you’re not guessing.
The important thing isn’t perfection, it’s starting.
Most parents have the same concerns when getting started. These are the ones that come up first—and the answers that help you move forward.
Yes. Each parent should have their own will so their decisions are legally recognised.
With FeedingBird, you can create both in one flow without starting over.
Start with what matters most: values, lifestyle, and how your child would be raised. That usually narrows the choice quickly. FeedingBird guides you through this step so you’re not stuck trying to figure it out alone.
It can range from a few hundred to several thousand dollars, depending on how you do it. FeedingBird offers a simpler, more affordable way to put a plan in place without delaying it.
Not always. Many parents can get everything set up using a guided platform. FeedingBird walks you through each step and gives you the option to add attorney support if you need it.
